Leonard’s Loser SEC week 4 style
Week four was a wild week in the SEC jungle. Let’s take a tour of what happened in this week’s SEC matchups Leonard’s Loser style.
The Hattiesburg Golden Birds flew into Bryant-Denny Stadium hoping to snatch a victory to take back to its nest in Southern Mississippi. Instead they encountered an angry bunch of Pachyderms that grounded the Patriotic Birds by the end of the first quarter. By the end of the game the Bald Headed Birds needed to find a bus ride home after having their wings clipped. Final, Alabama 63 Southern Miss 14
Jimbo Fisher and his Military Canines headed up to Dallas hoping to take home some good ole Arkansas barbeque. These Hogs have been fattened up after starting the season 3-0. It did not take long for these College Station Canines to realize they had bitten off more than they could chew. The Fayetteville Pork Bellies sent the Soldier Dogs limping back to southern Texas with a loss. Final, Arkansas 20 Texas A&M 10
Ed Orgeron and his Cajun Kittens took a trip to Starkvegas gambling on taking down Mike Leach’s Pirate Pups. The Slobbering Canines put up a big fight but in the end the Swamp Cats made the Starkville Pooches walk the plank. Final, LSU 28 Mississippi State 25
The Peachtree Panthers came over from Atlanta down to the farm in southeastern Alabama looking to claw out an SEC win. The Downtown Cats likely would have succeeded if it was not for that blinding sun that makes SEC referees constantly miss calls down at the Pasture. Ruling an apparent incomplete pass as a completed pass setting up the Loveliest Village Kittens game winning touchdown. The Plainsman Cats lost 8 lives in the process but came away with the win. Auburn 34 Georgia State 24.
Kirby Smart took his second ranked Red Clay Hounds up to Nashville to take on Admiral Clark Lea’s Nashville Navy. Before fans could settle down in their seats, all they could see was nothing but bubbles coming up from the Cumberland as the Song City Sailors got sunk at the opening whistle. Final, Georgia 62 Vandy 0
Josh Heupel led his Big Orange Rifle Brigade into the Gainesville Swamp looking to score some vittles to take back to Knoxville. The Knoxville Army was able to get some shots off in the first half and looked like they had a chance to bring home some gator meat but they ran out of ammunition in the third quarter and any chance of a good meal and a good season took a fatal bite from the Gators. Final. Florida 38 Tennessee 14
Mark Stoops led his Lexington Cats into the Columbia Hen house late Saturday hunting some yard bird to make some Kentucky Fried Chicken. That meal did not come easy as the Bluegrass Cats came away with several spur wounds before being able to fry up some Columbia Cocks. Final, Kentucky 16 South Carolina 10.
Elijah Drinkwitz took his Columbia Felines up to the northeast to take on The Chestnut Hill Patriot Birds in Boston. In a back and forth battle in the land of the Revolutionary War the Columbia Cats finally took a fatal blow from the New Englands Eagles Tallon’s in overtime. Final, Boston College 41 Missouri 34
Stay tuned for the SEC Jungle wrap up for next week’s SEC Jungle Wars.